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    At the Ageless Lifestyles Institute, Dr. Michael Brickey and associates help people grow young and live with purpose. The Institute provides research, motivational seminars, speaker services, publishing, and life coaching for holistic health and wellness, & anti-aging psychology.

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    The Easiest Way to Get Fit

    Posted by Dr. Brickey on February 13th, 2010

    Anti-Aging Psychologist, Dr. Michael Brickey

    Fredrick Hahn

    Host: Anti-Aging Psychologist Dr. Michael Brickey

    Guest: Fredrick Hahn

    Broadcast and podcast starting: February 15, 2009 on webtalkradio.net. After 2-22-10 the podcast is also on the links below
     
     The Easiest Way to Get Fit [56:35m]: Play NowDownload
    (to download, right click download and select “save target as.”)


    Let’s review the conventional thinking that Fredrick Hahn turned upside down. According to Mr. Hahn:

    • Forget aerobics and lots of reps, the best way to build muscles is to challenge them to exhaustion.

    • There is more benefit to doing exercises in slow motion than there is to fast movements that takes advantage of momentum, and consequently places fewer demands on muscles.

    • Most athletic pursuits may actually be harmful but may be worth pursuing for enjoyment.

    • Stretching makes joints less stable; strength training improves flexibility anyway.

    • Exercise does little to improve the heart or lungs. Rather, exercise makes muscles more efficient in extracting oxygen and nutrients.

    • Stronger muscles are more flexible.

    • The key to weight loss is limiting carbohydrates.

    • Cholesterol and saturated fat have been given a bad rap and aren’t necessarily harmful.

    • Grains are hard to digest, have little nutritional value, and leach minerals.

    • The dietary requirements for carbohydrates, according to a government study, is zero.


    Some other points he made included:

    • Our muscles atrophy with age unless we use them.

    • Muscles are recruited in sequence with fast twitch muscles being the last to be recruited.

    • We cannot make new muscles; we can only strengthen the ones we already have.

    • Most of weight loss comes from nutrition, not exercise.

    • Strength exercise is the best way to build stronger bones.

    • Genetics plays a big role in athletic skills and athletic physique. Most people are not capable of having body builder muscles no matter how much they exercise.

    • Strength training will not make women look muscular.

    • Our bodies are very efficient and require proof its limits are taxed before enhancing muscles.


    Is he right? I hope so. Physical fitness and nutrition are a Tower of Babel with many conflicting theories and opinions. What matters most is the results. I’ve started doing the Slow Burn exercises and will give it a two-month trial. I’ll report back later on my experience. As for eschewing carbohydrates, I’m doing some more research. The A to Z study he cited is in the March 2007 issue of the prestigious Journal of the American Medical Association.

    Mr. Hahn’s website is www.seriousstrength.com. Dr. Brickey’s other websites are www.DrBrickey.com and www.Anti-Aging-Speaker.com.

    Posted in fitness, resistance training | No Comments »

    Practical Advice on How to Be Happy

    Posted by Dr. Brickey on February 5th, 2010

    Anti-Aging Psychologist, Dr. Michael Brickey

    Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo

    Host: Anti-Aging Psychologist Dr. Michael Brickey

    Guest: Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo

    Broadcast and podcast starting: February 1, 2009 on webtalkradio.net. After 2-8-10 the podcast is also on the links below
     
     Practical Advice on How to Be Happy [49:05m]: Play NowDownload
    (to download, right click download and select “save target as.”)

    Dr. Lombardo’s emphasis is on treating happiness as a skill that we can learn and hone. Her approach is primarily cognitive behavioral—that is emphasizing what we think and what we do. She points out that 75% of visits to doctors involve no diagnosable medical condition. She approaches people with pain by acknowledging that their pain is real, then looking for the stress behind it and finding ways to lower the stress and to redirect attention to something else.

    We talked about forgiving as one of the trickiest skills to acquire. Forgiveness isn’t about condoning what happened or forgetting what happened, but releasing yourself from the anger and stress that go with holding on to resentments. Thus, the person who forgives is the one who is freed and becomes the beneficiary.

    We discussed three kinds of journaling:
    1. journaling positive events or gratitude
    2. tracking goals
    3. addressing a specific negative event (to help resolve the angst or aftermath)
    Journaling with a clear purpose in mind is much more efficient than keep a diary.

    If you read Dr. Lombardo’s book cover to cover it would be easy to say these are all good points but I’m overwhelmed by all the approaches–and end up doing nothing. The solution is to start with assessing your values and let that your values assessment lead you to what to emphasize in being happier. I also note that if you are trying to solve a complex behavior like weight loss and not succeeding, the solution probably isn’t a magic pill or a magazine article with ten tips, but drilling down to better determine the dynamics of the problem and what tweaks are most likely to help.

    Dr. Lombardo’s website is www.ahappyyou.com. Dr. Brickey’s other websites are www.DrBrickey.com an www.Anti-Aging-Speaker.com.ous love at every age.

    Posted in happiness | No Comments »

    Aging, Hypnosis and Story Telling

    Posted by Dr. Brickey on January 11th, 2010

    Anti-Aging Psychologist, Dr. Michael Brickey

    Dr. Neil Fiore

    Host: Anti-Aging Psychologist Dr. Michael Brickey

    Guest: Dr. Neil Fiore

    Broadcast and podcast starting: January 4, 2009 on webtalkradio.net. After 1-11-10 the podcast is also on the links below
     
     Aging, Hypnosis and Story Telling [61:49m]: Play NowDownload
    (to download, right click download and select “save target as.”)

    My 9-year-old twins are on book six of Harry Potter. My college students son and daughter watched the Star Wars and the Ring movies, my wife watches lot of science fiction TV, and yes I love Desperate Housewives. We crave stories and have lots of stories about success in business and sports, but few about how to age well. We met today’s guest, Dr. Neil Fiore, author of Coping with the Emotional Impact of Cancer, when he shared with us the psychological strategies that helped him overcome a “terminal” cancer diagnosis thirty years ago. He is a master of storytelling and hypnosis and today shares with us how stories can help us be liver healthier, happier, and longer lives.

    It is such a delight talking with Dr. Neil Fiore. I thought it might help to give some context for Ericksonian therapy compared to other psychotherapies. In the, Dr. Albert Ellis challenged Freudian psychology with how your thinking was wrong, and in-your-face advice about what you should do. Dr. Phil is the reincarnation of Albert Ellis.

    Also in the 1950s, Dr. Carl Rogers’ challenged Freudian psychology with his client center therapy, which became very popular. Rogers believed the answer was within the client, and would loving feed back and paraphrase what the client said to help the client sort things out for himself. With little credit, Rogerian therapy is the approach many personal coaching programs are teaching coaches these days.

    In the 1960s, Dr. B. F. Skinner developed radical behaviorism, which said behavior change was all a matter of what you reinforce and what you punish. Eventually, cognitive behavioral therapy became the most popular therapy, using Skinner’s reinforcement principles and Ellis’ emphasis on what you think—the cognitive in cognitive behavioral psychology.

    Like Rogers, Erickson believed people have the wisdom already within them but need guidance in finding it. But rather than just facilitating the client finding the answer within, Erickson assessed what the client needed and crafted a story to help the client discover and realize the solution. Which school of therapy is right? If you only have a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Therapists who have a full toolkit, tend to use their favorite tools but also use a different tool if that if what the client needs.

    Comedians follow the rule of three in setting up jokes—two to set up the pattern and one to violate it. Dr. Fiore described how Erickson’s rule of three was to give three validations, for example acknowledging his son’s pain, blood, and fear, before leading him a new direction with thoughts about bragging rights. NLP practitioners and hypnotists call this pacing where the client is and then leading where the client needs to go.

    Neil is also very into thinking of the brain as a computer and taking control of the computer by overwriting problematic default programs. With depression, for example, just by noting each day three things that went well, and what you did to help it happen, you may not need the Prozac. Finally, he places a lot of emphasis on quickly taking control of emotions and relaxing by inhaling, holding your breath, tensing muscles, exhaling, connecting with your environment, realizing you are taking control, and tuning into wonder rather than worry.

    Dr. Fiore’s website is www.neilfiore.com. Dr. Brickey’s other websites are www.DrBrickey.com an www.Anti-Aging-Speaker.com.ous love at every age.

    Posted in aging, hypnosis, story telling | No Comments »

    Love and Romance After 50

    Posted by Dr. Brickey on December 31st, 2009

    Anti-Aging Psychologist, Dr. Michael Brickey

    Carol Denker

    Host: Anti-Aging Psychologist Dr. Michael Brickey

    Guest: Carol Denker

    Broadcast and podcast starting: December 21, 2009 on webtalkradio.net. After 12 28-09 the podcast is also on the links below
     
     Love and Romance After 50 [44:25m]: Play NowDownload
    (to download, right click download and select “save target as.”)

    Television shows like to snicker and make fun of grey-haired romance, but journalist Carol Denker found that love and even sex after 50 can be better than ever—and illustrates it with stories and pictures from sixty couples who found love after 50 and found it to be better than ever.If you have ever thought, if I knew then what I know now…., this is about how, whether married or single, you can have that second chance with love and romance grey hair and all.

    This is about feeling like a sixteen-year-old in love even if you have a sixty, seventy, or older body. Ms Denker’s book is Autumn Romance: Stories and Portraits of Love After 50.I love the song Young at Heart, you know:
    Fairy tales can come true; it can happen to you
    If you’re young at heart…. My favorite version has Jimmy Durante singing it as his voice is old and his soul is young. Carol Denker’s stories and photos are like a Frank Capra movie—uplifting and renewing our belief in everyday miracles.

    The common thread was a change in attitude and outlook, shedding any slavery to peer pressures, and taking risks. It was interesting that she identified several clusters—including those who chose to pursue a lot of self-growth, those who reconnected with old sweethearts, and those who found someone with whom they had “so much in common.”  Just as real life is often stranger than fiction, the stories read like fairy tales. But, as Jimmy Durante sang, fairy tales came come true—if you’re young at heart. Carol’s couples give us a lot of clues as to how  to do it and inspiration to believe and seek amorous love at every age.

    Carol Denker’s website is www.autumnlove.org. The site about her protraits is www.aportraitbycarol.com. Dr. Brickey’s other websites are www.DrBrickey.com an www.Anti-Aging-Speaker.com.

    Posted in aging, love, romance | No Comments »

    Aging in the Second Half of Life

    Posted by Dr. Brickey on December 31st, 2009

    Anti-Aging Psychologist, Dr. Michael Brickey

    Dr. Angeles Arrien

    Host: Anti-Aging Psychologist Dr. Michael Brickey

    Guest: Dr. Angeles Arrien

    Broadcast and podcast starting: December 7, 2009 on webtalkradio.net. After 12 14-09 the podcast is also on the links below
     
     Aging in the Second Half of Life [50:02m]: Play NowDownload
    (to download, right click download and select “save target as.”)

    Children immerse themselves in the fun and identity metaphors of Harry Potter, young adults in the metaphors, mentors, and finding meaning in Star Wars. But what about the quest for identity and meaning after 50? Dr. Arrien has studied literature, poetry, and many cultures to help us seek our own quest for a richer, more meaningful second half of life.To review, like the Freudian psychologist Carl Jung, Dr. Arrien is fascinated with symbols, metaphors, and cultural heritage.

    In The Second Half of Life, she focuses on the neglected subject of psychological and spiritual development after 50. It is refreshing to hear our sixties described as the youth of our wisdom years and eighties and nineties and beyond as the peak of our wisdom years. She describes 50 as a milestone when people tend to start shifting from an emphasis on ambition to an emphasis on meaning, from doing to being, from acquisition to divestiture, from me to we. She describes it as a time of increased clarity and objectivity.

    She distinguishes journaling from keeping a diary with journaling being more insight and action oriented. She uses four questions: What has inspired me, what has challenged me, what has surprised me, and what has touched or moved me. She noted that in death and dying research, people want the closure of having addressed five issues: thank you, I love you, forgive me, I forgive you, and goodbye. She talked about the eight lies, for example, I’ll be happy when I have more money, when I marry the right person, when I and more successful, etc. and the four bones—the backbone, wishbone, funny bone and hollow bone.

    Addressing this subject was a stretch for me in while I certainly use a lot of metaphors in therapy, coaching, and hypnosis, I usually use them strategically to achieve a fairly specific objectives, as opposed to be immersed in them as a general growth exercise. It’ not a question of who is right but different people resonating with different styles. For example, some people thrive on meditation; while others would find it torture. Thus, I am delighted to have the diversity, and I am delighted to stretch my own thinking and my own style by reading The Second Half of Life and talking with Dr. Arrien.

    I read her book the hard way—in a day. It is really much better suited and more valuable to read a few pages a day to let the ideas incubate before reading more. I find her concept of concept of monthly journaling with a focus on growth questions and action especially generative. Finally, it is important to get associate with positive people. Dr. Arrien is positive and her view of aging is very refreshing and positive.

    Dr. Arrien’s website is www.AngelesArrien.com. Dr. Brickey’s other websites are www.DrBrickey.com an www.Anti-Aging-Speaker.com.

    Posted in Boomers, aging, developmental psych, life coaching, purpose, seniors | 2 Comments »

    How to Sleep Better

    Posted by Dr. Brickey on December 31st, 2009

    Anti-Aging Psychologist, Dr. Michael Brickey

    Dr. Lawrence Epstein

    Host: Anti-Aging Psychologist Dr. Michael Brickey

    Guest: Dr. Lawrence Epstein

    Broadcast and podcast starting: November 23, 2009 on webtalkradio.net. After 9-30-09 the podcast is also on the links below
     
     How to Sleep Better [45:19m]: Play NowDownload
    (to download, right click download and select “save target as.”)

    When patients complain of “insomnia,” Dr. Lawrence Epstein becomes a medical detective. “There are 75 types of sleep disorders and each type requires a somewhat different approach,” says Dr. Epstein. “The best starting point is a good diagnosis.” His book, The Harvard Medical School Guide to A Good Night’s Sleep, helps readers self-diagnose their problem and whether they need professional help or can resolve the problem on their own. Research shows that good sleep helps people have better health, fewer accidents, and live longer.

    Dr. Epstein is Director of the Harvard-affiliated SleepHealth Centers, teaches at Harvard, and is a past president of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. His website, which has a lot of practical tips on sleep is www.sleepandyou.com.

    About a year ago I started having sleep problems. I’d wake up every few hours and in the mornings I had headaches. I perused several books on sleep problems and found they just had generic advice. I went through a sleep doctor, a sleep lab, a neurologist, and had an MRI. They didn’t find any cause. Eventually the problem resolved itself—apparently, it was stress. I thought I knew most of the basics about sleep until I read Dr. Epstein’s book. What I found is that there are dozens of causes of sleep disorders, Dr. Epstein said 75 to be exact, and each type requires a somewhat different approach.

    What I learned from Dr. Epstein is that the best starting point is a good diagnosis of what the problem is—and his book goes a long way to helping people self- diagnose the problem and whether they need professional help or can resolve the problem on their own. I wish I had started there in the first place. Why am I talking about sleep on a program focused on living longer, healthier, and happier? Not only does the research show that good sleep helps people have better health, be less likely to have accidents, and to live longer, the research finds it is vital to our quality of life.

    Dr. Brickey’s other websites are www.DrBrickey.com and www.Anti-Aging-Speaker.com.

    When patients complain of “insomnia,” Dr. Lawrence Epstein becomes a medical detective. “There are 75 types of sleep disorders and each type requires a somewhat different approach,” says Dr. Epstein. “The best starting point is a good diagnosis.” His book, The Harvard Medical School Guide to A Good Night’s Sleep, helps readers self- diagnose their problem and whether they need professional help or can resolve the problem on their own. Research shows that good sleep helps people have better health, fewer accidents, and live longer.

    Dr. Epstein is Director of the Harvard-affiliated SleepHealth Centers, teaches at Harvard, and is a past president of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. His website, which has a lot of practical tips on sleep is www.sleepandyou.com.

    About a year ago I started having sleep problems. I’d wake up every few hours and in the mornings I had headaches. I perused several books on sleep problems and found they just had generic advice. I went through a sleep doctor, a sleep lab, a neurologist, and had an MRI. They didn’t find any cause. Eventually the problem resolved itself—apparently, it was stress. I thought I knew most of the basics about sleep until I read Dr. Epstein’s book. What I found is that there are dozens of causes of sleep disorders, Dr. Epstein said 75 to be exact, and each type requires a somewhat different approach.

    What I learned from Dr. Epstein is that the best starting point is a good diagnosis of what the problem is—and his book goes a long way to helping people self- diagnose the problem and whether they need professional help or can resolve the problem on their own. I wish I had started there in the first place. Why am I talking about sleep on a program focused on living longer, healthier, and happier? Not only does the research show that good sleep helps people have better health, be less likely to have accidents, and to live longer, the research finds it is vital to our quality of life.

    Posted in sleep | No Comments »

    The Mental and Emotional Skills for Dealing with Cancer and Life Threatening Diseases

    Posted by Dr. Brickey on December 31st, 2009

    Anti-Aging Psychologist, Dr. Michael Brickey

    Dr. Neil Fiore

    Host: Anti-Aging Psychologist Dr. Michael Brickey

    Guest: Dr. Neil Fiore

    Broadcast and podcast starting: November 2, 2009 on webtalkradio.net. After 9-9-09 the podcast is also on the links below
     
     The Mental and Emotional Skills for Dealing with Cancer and Life Threatening Diseases [52:01m]: Play NowDownload
    (to download, right click download and select “save target as.”)

    Hopefully, you won’t experience cancer, heart disease, or other life threatening illnesses. Should it happen you need to be prepared. And sooner or later it will happen to someone close to you. There is lots of information on the physical part of these diseases, but what about how to take charge rather than be emotionally overwhelmed and devastated? Today’s guest, Dr. Neil Fiore is a forty year survivor of “terminal” cancer and author of Coping with the Emotional Impact of Cancer.

    Dr. Fiore gives us a formula for coping with life threatening illnesses. The individual pieces aren’t unique but putting them all together is. The formula starts with taking charge, asking lots of questions, and you choosing the hospital, the doctor, and the treatments. The formula calls for getting the feelings out, whether by talking to friends, family, healthcare workers, or therapists, writing it down, or singing or screaming. As you are getting the feelings out, it is important to ask good questions. Why and philosophical questions like why me, how could God do this to me? are counterproductive. Rather, you want questions like, How can I grow more white blood cells? What nutrition would be best for me now?

    I love the movie Waiting to Exhale, which is the way cancer patients often feel. Dr. Fiore’s formula includes taking charge of anxiety, which can be stopped in seconds just by taking a deep breath, tightening muscles, and exhaling. This simple skill you can help you the rest of your life. Rather than fighting cancer being like 12 rounds in a Rocky movie, Dr. Fiore suggests trusting your body to do what it knows how to do—or as he puts it, You don’t have to tell a killer T-cell what to do. From there it is one step at a time—what do I need to do now.

    Dr. Fiore and I are both very big on the role of beliefs, questions, and metaphors. The one slight divergence I have with him is that just getting feelings out can result in spinning your wheels if it isn’t soon paired with making sure you are asking helpful questions instead of negative or philosophical questions. I agree that you don’t have to figure them out, you just need to get them out.

    I have seen a lot of patients, however, rant and rave only to get stuck there. That’s where counseling or psychotherapy can be especially helpful. He makes an interesting point that patients may be more comfortable seeing cancer as a physical disease and not a psychological problem. While it starts as a physical disease and is primarily a physical disease, it ends up being a huge psychological challenge as well. Fortunately, people are becoming much more accepting of psychological help. My experience is that most people with life threatening illnesses in hospitals and nursing homes are happy to talk with anyone who can help. The boredom, time on their hands, fear, and short time that they often get to talk with other professionals conspires to make them even more receptive.

    Finally, I would underscore that the same principles we talked about with cancer apply to other life threatening illness as well. If you want to hear how a leading cardiologist and cardiac psychologist approach heart disease, give a listen to the show with Dr. Joel Okner and Dr. Jeremy Clorfene that is archived on AgelessLifestyles.com. The centered their approach on starting with dealing with stress, then address diet, exercise, and other lifestyle issues.

    Dr. Fiore’s website is www.NeilFiore.com. Dr. Brickey’s other websites are www.DrBrickey.com and www.Anti-Aging-Speaker.com.

    Posted in alternative medicine, cancer, health, health and wellness | No Comments »

    Keeping Friends a Long Time

    Posted by Dr. Brickey on December 31st, 2009

    Anti-Aging Psychologist, Dr. Michael Brickey

    Jeffrey Zaslow

    Host: Anti-Aging Psychologist Dr. Michael Brickey

    Guest: Jeffrey Zaslow

    Broadcast and podcast starting: October 19, 2009 on webtalkradio.net. After 10-26-09 the podcast is also on the links below
     
     Keeping Friends a Long Time [17:08m]: Play NowDownload
    (to download, right click download and select “save target as.”)

    Which of your friends have you known the longest? How long have you known that friend? Does the length of that friendship make it valued? Keeping childhood friends when you all still live in the same city is quite an accomplishment. It’s even more impressive when your schoolmates are scattered all over the country. Jeffrey Zaslow, author of The Girls from Ames, documents the lifelong friendship of eleven girls form Ames Iowa who maintained close friendships for more than forty years, despite being scattered all over the country.

    I had hoped reading The Girls from Ames might give profound insights into the glue of long friendships. Instead, it was like watching an episode of The Waltons. Simple truths. There are no magic bullets, friendships require a commitment and the follow through of being there for your friends. Graduating from high school poses a big challenge to childhood and high school friendships as so many people go away to college or move away to take a job or follow a lover who has moved. I found it interesting that as people get older, friendships are easier

    -easier because we are more likely to have money for travel,
    -easier because after childrearing is no longer consuming our time we have more time
    -easier because we have less wanderlust and less need to try everything and more need for roots
    -easier because we have more maturity and better understand the value of friendship.

    Those who no longer work full-time have even more time for friendships. I find that a very positive message. Indeed if you start a friendship at 50 and live to 100, that is still a fifty year friendship.
    That extra maturity also gives us more insight and empathy, for example providing more support to a parent her son or daughter/your friend dies. In the meantime, the ideal situation would be to have a grandparent, parent, or mentor who alerts us to relationships we should be paying more attention to.

    What held the Girls from Ames together was a friends forever commitment they made to each other before they were even high school age. That is probably quite rare and most friends for life friendships are in twos or threes. I suspect that people from very small towns feel more bonding and commitment. People who have intense experiences with a church, sport team, or other organization probably are more likely to bond. People from unique schools that instill school loyalty are more likely to bond as well.

    While Jeffrey Zaslow is probably correct that women’s friendships tend to be face to face, focused on sharing their lives, and emotional, while men’s friendships tend to be side by side doing things, there are many exceptions. A sizeable number of men have no interest in sports, poker, and macho pursuits and many men would cite women as their best friends. Indeed, as sex roles are becoming less distinct, the nature of male friendships may tend to become more like women’s friendships.

    It will be interesting to see if Facebook provides the face time friendship requires. There is considerable research that finds people with friends live longer, healthier, happier lives. But that research doesn’t say anything about how long those friendships have to be. I note that there have been several movies about friendships that start when people are quite old. Examples include Morgan Freeman and Jack Nickelson in The Bucket Brigade. In the Bucket Brigade Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman are very ill in a hospital and write their list of things to do before they die. While ostensibly men doing activities, they wrestled with meaning, purpose, relationships, and the angst of dying—face to face emotional heart to heart talks just like women have.

    Research on friendship finds that as people age they tend to be more selective about friends and focus on a smaller number of quality friends and on family. This is as it should be. Youth is the time to try many different things including getting to know people from different backgrounds and cultures. By fifty, we have a pretty good idea of what relationships are likely to lead to quality friendships and what relationships are likely to be shallow. Thus the middle years and beyond are a time to focus on quality. But I would add a caveat. Salespeople know the importance of always seeking new customers. Otherwise, attrition will leave them with fewer and fewer clients. Likewise we need to cultivate some new friendships at every age so we don’t find ourselves with a paucity of friends.

    Posted in Boomers, aging, friendship | No Comments »

    Life Makeovers

    Posted by Dr. Brickey on October 11th, 2009

    Anti-Aging Psychologist, Dr. Michael Brickey

    Anti-Aging Psychologist Dr. Michael Brickey

    Broadcast and podcast starting: October 12, 2009 on webtalkradio.net. After 10-17-09 the podcast is also on the links below
     
     Life Makovers [27:40m]: Play NowDownload
    (to download, right click download and select “save target as.”)




    You wouldn’t run a business without a plan, but  do you have a written plan for your life? Dr. Brickey walks you through a multi-level system for developing a plan for your life. The system is loosely based on Robert Dilts’ Logical Levels.


    The Logical Levels of Life Planning

    Level Question Function Components
    Spiritual Who else? transmission vision and mission statements
    Identity Who am I? mission primary question, scripts, roles
    Beliefs Why? permission/motivation beliefs and rules (values are rules with a passionate commitment)
    Capabilities How? possibilities talents and skills
    Behaviors What? action habits
    Environment Where? constraints home, neighborhood, friends, family, light, sound, climate, etc.

    Posted in Life makeover, aging | No Comments »

    What’s Good About Aging

    Posted by Dr. Brickey on September 30th, 2009

    Anti-Aging Psychologist, Dr. Michael Brickey

    Anti-Aging Psychologist Dr. Michael Brickey

    Broadcast and podcast starting: September 28, 2009 on webtalkradio.net. After 10-5-09 the podcast is also on the links below
     
     What’s Good About Aging [23:49m]: Play NowDownload
    (to download, right click download and select “save target as.”)



    Remember the first time a birthday made you feel old? the jokes? the doubts? the fears your best days were behind you? Maybe you imagined someday wasting away in a nursing home. That’s when you got sucked into the script for thinking and feeling old. Our youth-obsessed culture promotes the idea that aging is all downhill. But I’m here to tell you that for most of us, life gets better as we age. Today I will depart from my usual format of interviewing an anti-aging expert and share with you my Top Ten Social Perks for Being Over 50.So let me get right to my top ten list.


    The Top Ten Social Perks of Being Over Sixty©

    by Michael Brickey, Ph.D., ABPP

    1. Research finds that older people are happier

    Research finds that older people report being happier than younger people. The percentages of Americans who said they were very happy were: 28% at ages 18-27, 31% at 28-37, 32% at 38-47, 33% at 48-57, 36% at 58-67, and 38% at 68-77. It drops to 34% for ages 78-89. Still, the 78-89 year old Americans are happier than people under 60. Why? Older people are more comfortable and secure with who they are, what their values are, and what they want to do with their lives. Research finds they focus more on positive events and less on negative events.

    [Reserach based on Mroczek, Daniel, & Kolarz, Christian.  The effect of age on positive and negative affect: A developmental perspective on happiness, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1998, 75, 1333-1348.]

    2. Less peer pressure

    For most teens, especially girls, fitting in, being liked, and being popular are paramount issues. While seeing themselves as rebellious, teen culture is actually very conformist. Teens spend many hours worrying about the right clothes, the right music, and being hip. Age brings a clearer sense of identity and less importance on peer pressure. Employment requires being concerned about pleasing the boss, coworkers, and customers. When employment is no longer required for income, there is a new freedom from peer pressure.

    3. More wisdom

    Age brings experience and knowledge and learning from mistakes-our own mistakes and others’ mistakes. Living longer doesn’t guarantee wisdom, but it is a prerequisite.

    4. More time

    Rearing children takes a lot of time and energy. When they eventually leave home, it is eerie how quiet it becomes and how much more time there is. Retirement (or no longer having to work for the money) brings more discretionary time. It can be a time to pursue passions. It can be more time for friends and family. It can be more time to slow down, enjoy life more, think more, and smell the roses.

    5. Better control of emotions

    Research shows that age brings better skills at managing emotions and dealing with problems. Experience dealing with a lot of conflicts brings skills. In marital or long-term relationships, couples learn what to fight and what to accept. In short, age brings a larger, more tested repertoire for dealing with problems.

    6. Better story tellers

    Researchers had people listen to stories told by older people and younger people. They rated older peoples’ stories as more interesting, more informative, and of higher quality. This comes at a time in life when seniors are stepping up to being the family matriarchs and patriarchs and passing on family

    traditions, values, and stories. People tune out lectures. Stories, however, hypnotize listeners and slide in the message.

    7. Sexuality doesn’t complicate relationships as much

    Many seniors have a rich sex life and sexuality is important in their lives. Sexuality, however, becomes less about proving manhood or validating being desirable and loved, and more about warmth, caring, and sharing. Age brings fewer worries about political correctness and whether a hug or compliment will be considered a pass or sexual harassment. For couples, there is less fear of children overhearing or interrupting intimate moments and less fear of an unwanted pregnancy. Older men often become more emotionally involved in sex as they need more physical stimulation.

    8. Better quality friendships

    Youth is a time to experiment and try new things. It is a time to make friends with a wide variety of people. Experience teaches which friendships are likely to be rewarding and which friendships are likely to be superficial. With age, some friendships last for decades. Such friendships are indeed treasures. Research finds that older people have fewer causal acquaintances. They place more emphasis on family and close friends, are more satisfied with their relationships than younger people, and feel strong bonds to close friends. Many “prune” their friendships and make remarks like, “I don’t have time for those people.” There is a shift from novelty to quality, from popularity to meaning.

    9. Pride in age again

    Children proudly hold up fingers to tell their age and can’t wait until their next birthday. Each birthday is a landmark event. Adults in their thirties, forties, fifties, and sixties see age as eroding vitality and attractiveness and try to hide and deny their age. After sixty, age starts becoming something to be proud of and gives a sense of accomplishment and achievement. By ninety or 100 there are serious bragging rights.

    10. Understanding the circle of life

    The story of Peter Pan begins, “All of this has happened before, and all of it will happen again.” Age bears witness to cycles of birth, marriage, children and death; of hard times and easy times; of war and peace. Age brings an understanding of life’s rhythms and cycles. A great sense of satisfaction comes with this glimpse into the secrets of the universe.

    Certainly a person can have sixty years of experience or one year of experience sixty times. Of course, not everyone over sixty experiences these perks. The perks cite generalities. Nevertheless, if you are a person who continues to grow with age, you are likely to experience these perks.

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